In-laws

Have you ever had a family member want you gone because there partner don't want you around  like your not even blood have you ever had your sister stand in front of you and tell you, you have no child because the child doesn't live with you that your kid doesn't exist that hurt but she doesn't see me cry over it but she will never hear me cry I try to put on a mask to be a strong big sister to her it cuts me deep the thought that her partner has that much pull on her its like I could lose her forever her partner is tearing my family apart making my mother choose which daughter she wants around more I can't believe my mother told me to call my cousin so I could go stay with her it's like she doesn't want me anymore cause I can't get a job and keep it I try my best to do what I can I am trying to get my social security and help out but I can't do a lot I forget to turn off the stove or I forget to go to work I can't remember a lot of things but I will remember the day I lose my family over a partner my sister chooses to be with I'm scared terrified that I will be alone forever! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh...................I hate my life my sisters boyfriends gonna tear my family apart with his bullshit he doesnt want me around fuck why doesnt he just kill me if Im so worthless they (my sister and her boyfriend) say that I dont cry over this shit like it doesnt hurt me it fucking kills me just becuz I dont cry infront of them doesnt mean I dont have feelings you knw its like they are contantly cutting me with dual knifes razor blades daggers swords every cut hurts it leaves a scar you knw like when she said I didnt care that she miscarried I offered to carry a child for her doesnt that say I care! I watch her everyday look at his son I see her pain everytime she miscarries but she doesnt see that it hurts me too you knw I dont like seeing her in pain but she doesnt see that I worry that I care that I step down to him when he pushed her I came to help her I wanted to call the police she wouldnt let me! doesnt that show I care! she rips my heart out when she says you dont have a kid because she doesnt live with me! wtf I have a kid yes I dont have her because I tried to protect her from drugs rapest and nasty houses so where was a bad mother I tried my best to protect her! my stomach turns like Im gonna be sick the thought of losing her cause she says that she wants me gone too its cutting me deeper then you knw us she really going to let me go like this is she gonna let him force my mother to choose which daughter she wants around more! its like my voice isnt heard!